21: Key to the Door.


For the past couple of months, I’ve started to think about my birthday. While a lot of my friends have just turned 19, my 21st is in November – that makes it 4 months (and 5 days to be precise) before I become a ‘real’ adult. It feels scary that at this age, my mum was married and expecting me. I still feel like a baby. I live at home, I’ve worked in the same place since I was 18, I don’t particularly enjoy the university experience, and it feels like a lot of the best memories I have are all from when I was 16-18. So I figured it’s time to make new memories. I’ve done a lot in the past year that I’ve wanted to achieve, but there’s still things missing. With my 21st as a deadline, this is my ‘bucket list’ of things to do while I’m still a kid (and therefore, may potentially avoid taking full responsibility). Some I’ve done, lots still to tick.

  1. Start writing a book. I know this is a typical listing on most people’s lists of things to do. But I wanted to be a writer when I was little, and since then I’ve just not really had any ideas. I wish inspiration would just strike, but it’s harder than that. One of the reasons I started this blog was to get ideas, as well as writing experience that could help me get where I’d love to be. So maybe I’ll finally get to start!
  2. Go out wearing a ridiculously skimpy outfit. This sounds like a weird thing to put on things I want to do, not look back in hideous regret, but I hate wearing heels (paiiiin is not worth it!), freeze to death without tights and don’t really own any cleavage bearing tops. But while I’m young, I’m going to do it at least once, just because I can. As self-conscious as I feel now, maybe one day I’ll look back and wish I had while I could have just got away with it. I think this is going to be one of the harder things on the list for me.
  3. Experience a drug and never go back. This is on here, not because I particularly want to, but because it’s one of those things that only seems to be acceptable alongside an ‘I was young and experimenting’ excuse. But I went to Amsterdam for a couple of days, so space cakes lead to this one getting a tick. (Disclaimer; I am not promoting the use of illegal drugs in any way). Also, the hot chocolate in this picture is the nicest I’ve EVER tasted (Hill Street Blues in De Wallen in case you ever go).
  4. Take a road trip. I’ve been driving for just over 2 years and haven’t yet been too far from where I live! I’m hoping to drive to Wales over the summer though, so that should be pretty simple! I’ll just have to try to trust my car to not die on the way, it seems to get very noisy after I’ve been driving for a while…
  5. Give blood. This is another that I’ve been too wimpy to do. But I should man up and get over it – I don’t even know my blood type, so must have never even had a blood test! I’m determined to bite the bullet and get on with it though, it’s for a good cause.
  6. Go on holiday with friends. This one I’ll have done several times by my birthday. I went to Amsterdam last December, and also went to Lanzarote with my boyfriend in June. Amsterdam was a lovely city, but I think a couple of days there is enough – it’s quite expensive. Lanzarote was really good, I’ve never been on an all-inclusive holiday before and it was amazing just to relax and spend time together. I’m also going to Poland for a few days in October with a few friends from work, including my boyfriend. We’re planning to visit Auschwitz and the markets, so I’m really looking forward to it.
  7. Go to London. I really wanted to do this for years, and I’m really happy I’ve been now. One of my closest friends from school goes to drama school there, so I stayed with her last winter, and also went with my boyfriend for my 20th birthday. I’m hoping to go down again soon, but it’s really expensive at the moment (what with the Olympics and stuff) so I might have to wait a few months.
  8. Take up a sport and keep at it. I did ballet until I was 18, and I’ve missed keeping fit since I’ve stopped. I want to take up something lower impact like yoga/Pilates, and maybe something higher as well. I want to run, but I’ve always been awful at it – my stamina is awful, and I’m slow. So I’ll have to start a class so I have the motivation to carry on.
  9. Find a  goal for my life. For a couple of years, I’ve been really stressing myself with where I’m going, what I want to do etc. I don’t enjoy university, but I find it really hard to figure out what I’m interested in/enjoy enough to do! I’ve done every careers test going, and am coming to the conclusion that I may not be cut out with a traditional area. So I have to find myself a niche, and quickly.
  10. Finally – don’t take life too seriously. Stop getting frustrated by the little things. Focus less on work and study, and treat it as a rewarding experience. Challenge myself but keep perspective. Remember that I’m lucky to be educated, have an amazing boyfriend, friends that make me laugh and family around me. Enjoy being young and don’t worry because I don’t have to yet.
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